Tag: Fear

Jesus. There is no other name.

- JaclynPalmer Leave a comment

Jesus.

All else falls silent.

Jesus.

A carpenter’s son, the son of Mary.

Brother to siblings who did not know, did not see, did not believe.

Jesus.

Water to wine, leprosy healed, blind to see, lame to walk, sins forgiven.

So much more than could be recorded.

Jesus.

Carried a cross, bore a shame, felt the sting, separated from His God.

Jesus.

Mary cried, John loved, Peter ran, Judas died, the thief and the soldier believed.

Jesus.

Cared for, cried over, anointed with myrrh, wrapped in cloth, laid in a tomb.

Sealed. Guarded. Alone. In the grave. Buried with sin. Battling hell.

Jesus.

The upper room, the disciples hide, emotions rage, faith wavers, fear evident.

Their leader, their teacher, their friend. Died just as he said. But what else did he say?

Jesus.

Discussions. Conversations. Debates. Silence. Waiting. Repeat.

Jesus.

Still there is a song yet to be sung.

Jesus.

**Matthew 27**

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God’s Answer for Anxiety

- JaclynPalmer 1 Comment

I don’t know if I belong here. Do I battle anxiety? No. Like I said, I don’t know if I belong here. Statistically, I should be.

I met God when I was three years old, nearly 40 years ago. I met my mother’s husband when I was eight. I knew the love of The Father for five years, and now I was stuck with the infatuation of a father. They did not mix very well. Oil and water. Throughout those years, I memorized the Word of God. I clung to it, really. His Words drowned out the emptiness. They became my foundation. Life was hard; pain was real. But I always heard His love sung over me. His words washed through me as its promised two-edged sword separated the foul from His Truth. It fought in ways I didn’t see until I got older and was questioned about my lackadaisical approach to anxiety and worry and stress. “The smell of smoke,” I was told, “isn’t even on you.” A statement too grand to not cast at His feet.

“Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” Jeremiah 33:3 struck deeply within my core. It became the prayer of my heart as a young teenager. Trying and failing at imagining what the Lord could reveal to me, something too grand for my comprehension. I was hungry to see it. I wanted it to be my way of escape.

As I sit here in this room hearing the angst of anxiety and worry and stress, I understand a bit more about this truth. I no longer hear the promise of the Father’s written Word; I see it. I may not have been shielded from the sorrow that is called my upbringing, but I was shielded from the anxiety that should have walked me throughout my days.

I look at the long days that make up this short life of mine and see the great and hidden things that wrapped itself around me. Miscarriages that brought tears without worry. Medical diagnoses that brought pain without anxiety. Life moments that brought reality without stress. Life has thrown itself all around me, but the smell of its presence lay silent on the floor.

God promises that when we call, He will answer. As He answers, He will show us things beyond our comprehension. I have been waiting for something that I could see, but I wonder if it is the unseen evidence of His Presence that explains my feeling of absence in this room. Do I battle with anxiety, No. But I know who does. His name is I AM.

I look around this room offering one word, one promise. Simple yet sweetly complete.

Call.

He promises that He will answer.

He promises that He will show you great and hidden things.

Friend, call.

Then, open your eyes and see.

“Call to me and I will answer you and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”-Jeremiah 33:3

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I was Paralyzed by Fear

- JaclynPalmer Leave a comment

Sitting there alone as my tears washed over the kitchen floor, I knew something had to change. I was paralyzed by fear. I was overcome by left-over emotions of past realities. Realities of my dad’s death at 33; I was eight. Realities of this same dad leaving 7 years earlier; my 8-year-old self wondering if it were her fault. I was broken and bound by fear. And in this reality, I sat in my corner all alone. Wrapped in the body of my 32-year-old self, I wept the tears of fear that washed over me after my husband and son walked out the door. This was when I knew something had to change.

My husband of ten years was a good man. My four-year-old son was my favorite gift from God. Together they were a unified front of laughter and silliness. They walked out the door around 4 pm for an overnight camping trip. I knew I would never see them again. That’s the thing with fear, it cripples you in your softest place and causes you to succumb to its truth. And I was dining at its table.

Seeing myself paralyzed in this manner overwhelmed me even more. There was a part of me that didn’t want to be this person anymore. This little girl inside me, who grieved truth and lies equally, wanted to break out, to be free. Something had to change for her, for me.  

I had a friend who knew fear. Hers was a different fruit of fear but of the same root. Hers equally fresh in her mind, a mess of truths and lies. I’m struggling. I need your help. Can you meet for coffee? A simple text message, short and to the point. A message void of emotions and details. She knew.

She parked her vehicle beside mine. I could hear her classical music filling her soul as I sat in my empty silence. Her shining smile met my broken expression. There was no need to attempt a falsehood; she understood.  

That coffee date is a slight blur in my memory. This makes me sad. But the process in which this coffee date began and the path in which it led was a game changer for us both. She, in her moment of strength, spoke words of truth over me. I, in my weakness, let her. Our friendship grew that day. Our strength bonded together. Lies were verbally expressed, seen for what they were and thrown into the fire.

Fear did not die that day, but it knew where it was heading. For the first time in my adult life, fear was the one trembling. My husband of 18 years and my 13 year old have left and returned from multiple camping trips since that day. No longer does fear succumb me to its table. Something had changed; I changed.

Fear lost its power within me; unleashed truth reigns in its place.

Friend, if fear is a battle, remember its Victor. Speak His truth over the lies that overtake your thoughts. Listen to the voice of Truth. It is a choice we get to make. And when we do, powerful changes will occur. Little by little, day by day. Fear has already lost. Stand on that foundation and choose truth.

Xoxo,

Jaclyn

Scripture verses on Fear

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